My Airplane Story 1
Around 6 years ago, I’m on a flight from London to Chicago and I’m feeling victorious because I actually scored a front row seat. Finally, I can stretch my legs out and have a little room to breathe.
I always take care of a few things in the first hour of a flight:
- I usually have to get up a couple of times to use the bathroom (I have a tiny and nervous bladder, don’t judge me).
- I always fall asleep before the plane even leaves the runway (all the excitement is just too much for me sometimes) so I decide to adjust my neck pillow and blanket.
- After a 45-minute snooze, it’s time for lunch. Airplane food is not great but with the cost of airfare, you better believe I’m eating every bite and I’m also asking for an extra bag of pretzels (and taking everything in sight; barf bag, newspapers and the sky mall magazine).
It may seem like I’m quite busy but it’s not like I’m acting like some crazy toddler kicking the back of the seat or screaming bloody murder. (If your child does this, I’m so sorry to use them as an example.)
Anyway, a ginormous British guy behind me is huffing and puffing every single time I move even an inch. His belly leans up against the back of my seat so he can feel every move I make. Then he has the nerve to start making comments under his breathe followed by some more huffs and puffs.
I was born with my dad’s gentle demeanor, which is amazing because I’m adopted. I know, it’s amazing and freaky at the same time.
We (my dad and I) smile
We take a lot
Until we don’t
It’s not a pretty site and it literally shocks the hell out of people because it’s so out of character for us.
Anyway, British guy made the final mistake of mumbling for the 13th time (Yes, I was counting and I hate odd numbers)
I quickly stood up, spun around, pointed my finger at him and said…
“Listen here jackass, I paid the same amount of money (unless he used Delta points or had a promo code) for my ticket as you did for yours so enough with the animal noises and passive aggressive comments. I WILL be getting up occasionally and re-positioning myself so DEAL with it.”
The man turned a special shade of red and looked like a scolded 5- year old. He didn’t say another word or grunt another sound the rest of the way to Chicago (which was a long time according to the monitor with the plane flying over the ocean).
At the baggage claim in Chicago, I made eye contact with him and said “Now you’re in my country”
I have no idea what I meant by that, but I felt like it was something Liam Neeson would have said.
He scurried away and I imagine he was secretly mumbling something about crazy American women.
I can’t give credit to anyone for this picture because I found it on the internet so please don’t sue me. At this point, all you would get is a lot of random stuff packed in boxes.